Where there is no hope, there must be determination PART 5




At some point glucagon came out and what a life saver it turned out to be. Instead of the maple syrup down the throat, one injection and out of the convulsion within twenty minutes. To those reading this who never knew life without it, it would save tons of brain cells. No longer would I be in convulsion for forty to fifty minutes.

No longer could I not walk the next day, because my spine was messed up for a short time afterward. Now keeping under control was a full time job. One in which, I found to be impossible to obtain. There in lies the hope and determination. This is in no way a normal life. Whoever thought of that propaganda, (lie) has convinced millions of people that the ab normal, the unusual is normal.

What normal teenager when going out on a date, has to instruct their date what to do if I start acting funny. Not really funny, stupid, or weird. Lost a lot of girls that way. It was not my best pick up line. Can you imagine all the feelings that a teen age boy feels. Do I look OK, will she think I do, will I be able to talk to her without my voice shaking. The emotions run wild and so did my blood sugars.

Think about the first kiss you gave a girl, or if you are a girl, the first kiss you got from a guy. Now today, it is not so scary as it was back in the sixties, but I am sure there are some sweaty hands. I shook all over! Before I kissed my date, I put my arm around her. I started to sweat and shake, now I really got nervous, not sure if my blood sugar was low or if I was just scared.

There was no way of knowing. No blood testing kits, no urine sticks and I sure wasn't going to go into the bathroom and urinate into a bottle and take an eye dropper and count out five drops of urine and ten drops of water and put a tablet into it and shake it to see what shade it would turn. Blue was negative and could mean that the sugar was in fact low, so you didn't want to be blue then.

Maybe I will just hop out of the car and urinate into a coke bottle. I hope you see what we went through back then. It would still be embarrassing today to pull out your meter to test your blood, but not nearly as bad as back then. The moment of truth, I learned over and gave her a kiss, nice and long.

Still shaking like a rabbit, and you would have thought I was in the shower because I was so wet. Now, we ate, drank soda, the real soda, and went home. Not long after that, I passed out into a violent convulsion. There was a price to pay for that kiss. It was worth it, as I recalled. During those hated teen years, I lost hope, to see it through.

My emotions were deep for family, friends, girls, all which would cause the control level to hit the bottom or be like a fire cracker exploding in the air. I don't know why, but every morning I would wake up sick. My urine test would be neg or 1 plus (4+ was bad), but I was sick until about ten in the morning. Went to school everyday sick.

It is what you have to do. Don't give up or give in, keep fighting till you win. My father died when I was just five years old, and my immediate older brother was seven. It was a rough time. By the time I was eleven, I became the man of the house. So my mother would lean on me for everything that a man would do around the house, I did.

The teasing continued throughout high school. The girls were cruel and the guys would get in your face. I was 5'7" and would stand toe to toe with them. I was in a fight after school each week for about two or three years. I only lost one fight.

It made these guys so mad, that this little thin kid could fight so hard and win. You fight to win! I often wonder what my life would be like if I were not diabetic. What type of a person would I be if it did not shape my personality the way it did.

It has made me a fighter, that I can and will do everything that someone who is not diabetic can do. Being determined for a week is no good. You must be determined for life-preserve for your life, to have a good life. There are some things that you can not do by law. I can't fly a plane.

Wanted to do that when I was twenty eight years old but a diabetic cannot get a license to fly. So I let someone fly me every weekend as I jump out at 15,000 feet. I'll talk more about that later. Now it's finally here, college. I have worked so hard to get in, told by so many that I would not ever graduate. The more people challenge me, the more I am determined to prove them wrong.

Read part 4!

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